Vocation Testimony

The best and the most beautiful gift that God has given us is our life. He has created man in his own image and likeness. (Gen. 1:26) and then crowned him with glory and honour. (Ps. 8:5) The way that God maps out to live this life to the full and return it as a precious gift to God is our vocation. When we discover this call and try to live it the best possible way we find joy and fulfilment in life.

God called me to be a Religious and offer myself completely to him. In answering that call I find the meaning and purpose of my life.

It’s a journey, an exodus in faith. God does not unwrap its meaning once and for all before our eyes. It’s an unmarked map that God marks out little by little. Walking along this path require a constant letting go and letting God. The period of my Religious formation and the time as a young Religious and student were all full of enthusiasm and happiness.

After the Final Profession, I was sent to our community in Vakola parish, Mumbai. I was mainly engaged in the ministry of teaching. I have also engaged in the life of the parish very actively, forming the B.C.C in each area and working with the youth and children.

Whenever I spent time in silent prayer or attended a retreat, I felt that the Lord is asking something more from me. The more I felt this inner urge the more I gave myself to the life of my community and parish.

In spite of all this selfless giving, I felt I was lacking something. I felt as if someone whispering from within: “What I want is your love more than what you do” tried to spend more time in prayer. In the year 1999 I was sent to St. Anselm’s Institute, Kent, to a course entitled Christians Leadership and Formation. It was a turning point in my life.

Our Director told us “during this year you have to read only two books, the Bible and the book of your life.”
As I was in the habit of reading a lot, doing a lot of things in a systematic and disciplined way, I got plenty of time at hand. My time was only for myself… I made use of the classes and different types of counselling sessions in the best way possible. The rest of the time I spent before the Blessed Sacrament in the little chapel there.

I realized there that there is a God waiting to take delight in me and what he wants is my love more than anything. I gave my theses the title, ‘Befriending the Beloved within’. To the God who blessed me with lots of friends, one cry welled up from deep within ‘Make my love for you more real’.

‘I pray for you more than your siblings, because when a Religious gives more importance to intelligence and reason it is very dangerous’ my mother had told me once with a tinge of pain. I often used to think about it. Many nights I asked the Lord with tears: ‘Lord what do you want from me’?

When I came back to my community in Vakola, I reduced my activities and tried to spend more time in prayer. The long and secretly cherished dream of entering a cloister once again emerged powerfully. It was a dream that I had way back in my novitiate to enter a cloister and offer myself to God as a sacrifice of praise. The more I tried to ignore it the more powerfully it came up. After five years of prayer and discernment, I answered this call within the call. It was not easy to leave a Congregation that loved me and I loved… and to begin life all over again in an unfamiliar community at the age of 37. If the one who called is God he will be faithful. On this strong faith, I made a leap into the dark. With tear-filled blessings of my Sisters, I entered the Monastery of Discalced Carmelite Nuns at Tiruvalla.

Our heart regulates our human life. No one can see its functioning. God has protected this precious organ within the enclosure of our ribs. The same way the Church needs to protect few lives within the enclosure to function as its heart. How truly St. Therese of Child Jesus said ‘In the heart of the Church my mother, I shall be love’.

It is a life of close friendship with Jesus. It is a life hidden from the world and at the same time carries the whole world within one's heart to stand as an intimate intercessor. God needs now more than ever these dovecots.

Lord God of Hosts!
Even the sparrow finds a home,
And the swallow a nest for herself’
Where she may lay her young,
At your altars, Lord God of Hosts, my King and my God
happy are those who live in your house,
forever singing your praise. Ps. 84:3,4

- Sr. Anjali OCD